Journey to the Forbidden Castle: Commentary
by MadisonWulfe
Summary: This story actually isn't bad; I really like it. But I feel like it doesn't get the attention that it deserves. So I'm doing a commentary to advertise it. Please read and review the original.


**I don't own Harry Potter or this story. I'm doing a commentary on a story that I think is sincerely epic. I know that most people only do these on god-awful stories, but I'm changing tradition. This is mostly to get that story more attention, because as of right now, it's not getting the attention that it deserves.**

**if you want to read the original story without all of the interruptions, the search for bestgyrl. She's reaolly good, e****ven though her older stuff is kinda junky. I suggest _Monologues_, _Flame On!_, _Comparisons_, _The SueSlayer Got Served_, _I Feel So Violated_, _Journey to the Forbidden Castle_, and _Don't Go_. Basically, just about everything that hasn't been discontinued, except for her first story.**

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><p>(August 31st)<p>

"_Standard book of Spells, Grade Three_; check. _Muggle vs. Magic_; check. _Charms Worth a Try_; check," a young girl drawled as she threw her school books into her trunk. "_Defense for Dimwits_" **(That teacher must not like his students. Hehe)**—she rolled her eyes— "check." She chucked the rest of the books onto the "neat stack" and went to her dresser.

"One… two… three… four… five," she counted aloud. She then grabbed her robes from her drawer and brought them over to her trunk, where they met the same fate as the books** (Poor robes)**. She then closed the trunk lid.

"Wand…" she recalled and reached a hand behind her back, groping for her wand, making sure that it was in her back pocket. "Good," she said once she'd felt it, she only had one more thing to retrieve.

She ran to her closet and her eyes immediately went to the darkest corner. She reached her hand toward the corner and grasped the handle of her broom.

She stepped out of her closet, admiring the Nimbus 2001 in front of her. She was reminded of how much of a bargain she and her brother had gotten when the Firebolt 2.0s had come out.

"Time to get back out onto the pitch," she said to the broom as a broad grin spread across her face.

A loud hoot sounded behind the girl and she turned to see her large gray owl, Athena, sitting at her window, carrying a note.

The girl smiled, revealing her single dimple in her right cheek. Then she said, "I hoped you'd be back before we had to leave." She walked over to her owl. "Did you bring Kaci's reply?"

Kaci is one of her best friends. The two have known each other ever since their first year at Incantum **(Incantum: Root word, Incant (not a real word), as in Incantation. Cleaver)**, their wizarding school. They met on the train and have been virtually inseparable ever since.

Athena hooted indignantly, as if offended by this question **(What a sassy little owl)**. The girl took the letter from Athena's scaly foot and read it to herself:

_Why are you writing to me so close to the train ride? I told you that you'd miss me_ **(Modest, much?)**._ Especially since we've been so out-of-touch this summer. You with your at-home Quidditch practice and me with my doing nothing_ **(I'm sure that that's very time-consuming (This still made me laugh, though)**._ That keeps me really busy, you know! Anyway, I'll see you when we get there, don't worry about it._

_Kaci Hales_

The girl sighed. She decided not to write back, but instead to talk to Kaci on the train. She folded the letter and stuffed it in her pocket. Seeing Athena in her cage, the girl closed it and put the cage in her cauldron, and then put her cauldron on top of her trunk. **(Don't boil the owl!)**

"Are you coming?" the girl's mother called up the stairs.

The girl ran to her door and yelled back, "I'll need someone to levitate my stuff!"

Suddenly her things rose into the air and sped through the doorway. She ducked but the trunk still grazed the top of her head. **(That was close)**

"Be careful!" she yelled as she shut her door. She ran down the stairs. The girl saw her brother, Steven Davis, and her sister, Miley Valentine (who has changed her last name **(I really don't like Miley)**), waiting with their trunks. Miley's tan cat, Ally, was at her side as usual, and Steven's black-and-white rat, Greg, was nestled on his shoulder.

"Ready?" Steven asked as he saw her.

"Yeah, but who almost took my head off? Henry or Mom?" the girl asked.

"Actually, it was Miley. And, you know, you really should start calling him 'Dad.'"

"But he's not my dad," the girl whispered to Steven. **(Ooh. Family issues)**

"No, but he acts like it. Now be quiet!" Steven added quickly as Henry and their mother, Stacey, walked out of the kitchen.

"Everyone ready?" Stacey asked.

"Are we taking a Ministry car again?" Miley asked as Ally brushed around her legs.

"Yeah. How else would we fit all of this stuff into the cars?" Steven asked, rolling his dark brown eyes.

"Then let's move! I want to be able to use my wand again!" the girl exclaimed.

Miley put up a hand. "Say it, don't spray it, Brace-Face." **(Rude)**

"I hate you," the girl said in an undertone, then, in a normal voice, said, "I know that I was unlucky enough to be one of the ones without our family's super nice teeth. But I'm working on it, okay?" After her slight lapse in attitude, the girl went right back to her previous excitement.

Stacey and Henry pulled out their wands and levitated all of the trunks into the back of the car, everyone else following in their wake. Once everyone was strapped in, the girl was literally bouncing in her seat.

"Why are you so excited?" Steven, who was on her left said, asked.

"Yeah, you're annoying me," Miley commented from the girl's right.

Ignoring Miley's comment, the girl said, "I just really want to get back to Incantum and test out some new spells. I've memorized a few and have practiced them, sans a wand. Now I get to do them for real! I'm aching to practice the Bat-Booger Hex on Megan Santos **(You'll see who this is later)**." She answered Steven without looking at him, but instead stared out his window, searching for something.

Their mother laughed. "Ashley Davis, you are something else."

The girl leaned back and smiled contentedly. "I know." **(Because it's true)**

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><p><strong>So that's the first chapter. I hope you check out the original story and review it! There wasn't a lot of commentary here, purely because it's a prologue.<strong>


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